Day 1 — Forgiven to Forgive

“Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?” — Matthew 18:33

Peter came to Jesus with a question: “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” — Matthew 18:21 Peter wanted to know where the limit was. How many times am I expected to forgive? At what point have I forgiven enough? Jesus answered Peter and then told him a story. A king decided to settle his accounts with his servants. One servant owed him an enormous debt—far beyond anything he could possibly repay. The servant fell before the king and pleaded for more time but the king did something the servant could never have expected. “Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.” — Matthew 18:27 The servant did not receive an extension but a cancellation. The debt was gone and he walked away free.

You would think someone who had just experienced that kind of mercy would never forget it. But the servant left the king and found another servant who owed him a much smaller amount. He grabbed him and demanded: “Pay me what you owe me!” — Matthew 18:28 The second servant pleaded with him for patience. Those were words the first servant should have recognized. He had just been the one pleading for mercy but instead of extending the mercy he had received, he had the other man thrown into prison until the debt could be paid.

When the king learned what happened, he confronted him: “Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?” — Matthew 18:33 The servant had experienced mercy but he had not allowed mercy to change the way he treated someone who owed him. Jesus was showing Peter something much deeper than how many times he needed to forgive. Those who have received mercy are called to extend mercy.

Every one of us has stood in the position of the first servant. We owed a debt we could never repay. Sin separated us from God yet through Jesus, we have received mercy, grace, and forgiveness. Our debt has been canceled and even though we didn’t earn that forgiveness, we received it.

Paul tells us: “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” — Colossians 3:13 Notice the word: Remember. When forgiving someone feels difficult, remember what you have received. Remember your mercy. Remember your grace and your forgiveness. We forgive from what has already been given to us.

The servant walked away with his own debt canceled and immediately began collecting someone else’s. We can do the same thing in our hearts. Someone hurts us, and an account begins forming. You owe me an apology. You owe me an explanation. You owe me for what you took from me. You owe me for the years I lost. You owe me for the damage you caused and without realizing it, we become debt collectors. We may never say those words out loud, but we carry the account inside us. Every time we replay the offense, we examine the debt again. Every time we rehearse what they did, we add another entry to the account but Jesus did not forgive our enormous debt so that we could spend our lives collecting everyone else’s.

Forgiveness does not say the debt never existed. It says: I will no longer be the one trying to collect it. This doesn’t eliminate consequences nor does it automatically restore trust. It also doesn’t mean justice no longer matters. It means we surrender our personal demand to make the offender pay because that belongs in the hands of God.

Sometimes the person who hurt us has continued with their life while we remain emotionally attached to the debt. We tend to replay it and then we rehearse it which then makes us relive it and so then we carry it. The other person may not even realize we are still carrying the account and then we are the ones stuck and they are living their lives.

That is one of the tragedies of unforgiveness. We think we are holding someone else captive, while the offense continues holding us.

Jesus offers another way. He wants us to release the account and remember the mercy that He has extended to us and to begin extending that mercy to others.

There may be one more name written on the list of people you have not released. Your own!

Maybe you have repented of something, asked God for forgiveness, and yet continue punishing yourself.

Scripture says: “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” — 1 John 1:9 If God has forgiven you, you do not need to continue collecting a debt from yourself that Jesus has already paid. You can repent. You can learn and you can make things right where possible and then you can agree with God’s forgiveness and move forward. When you fall get back up, repent and don’t continue to look back.

Spend some time with the Lord today.

• When you think about how much God has forgiven you, what does that stir in your heart?

• Is there someone whose debt you are still keeping track of?

• What do you believe that person owes you?

• Are you waiting for an apology before you allow yourself to forgive?

• Are you continuing to punish yourself for something you have already confessed to God?

• What would it look like to receive mercy and then extend that same mercy?

Today, begin by remembering what you have received.

Write: Because of Jesus, I have been forgiven.

Then ask the Holy Spirit: “Is there a debt I am still trying to collect?”

Write down whatever comes to mind such as: An apology. An explanation. Recognition. Repayment. Vindication. Something else. You are not being asked to pretend the debt never existed. Today you are simply recognizing the account you may still be carrying. We will learn how to release it as we continue this journey.